New Dad Thinks Baby Might Be Gay

Citing "something vaguely effeminate" about his eight-month-old son Michael, first-time father Joe Oebrick, 32, reported Tuesday that he suspects the infant may be a homosexual.
According to Oebrick, Michael has an excessive fondness for bright colors and "things that sparkle."
"Sequins, glitter, feathers," said the recent father, listing some of the things that Michael likes. "And he really likes flowers."

According to the recent father, his most urgent concern is the confused baby's constant need to suck on a pacifier.

"That can't be right. Can it?" Oebrick said.

Oebrick said he first began to worry about Michael's sexual orientation when the boy was two months old.

"He would giggle constantly," Oebrick said. "And he had a very weak handshake."

According to Oebrick, there were several months during which the infant's head would wobble if it wasn't supported by an adult.
"He was always swinging his head around," Oebrick said.
it seemed pretty... well, gay."